I had a view of some fireworks recently — best view I’d ever seen in my life, straight from my apartment balcony. It felt luxuuurious. I was tempted to pick my phone up and record the whole thing, but then I paused.
I felt the breeze.
Those little after smoke clouds began to fill the air and the bursts went on.
The moon was peeping silently over head to watch too.
So I watched, gazed…and enjoyed every second of it, smiling.
A somber thought creeped into my mind as I realized the show wasn’t going to last forever, even as much as I wanted it to.
I wanted it to last forever.
As I stood there, I allowed my memories to resurface, each one a piece of a puzzle, forming the mosaic of my life. Some I defined as smaller moments like making friends or traveling. Some moments were larger, like graduation. Some had vibrant hues, like the random and carefree nights I stumbled on the concrete.
Yet, I couldn’t overlook the hard stuff. I remembered the ones that were gut punching too. They still happened.
I journaled that night.
I wrote about how each firework burst represented these periods in my life.
These seasons we experience, these bursts in our life, they come and go. Change happens, indefinitely.
When I was watching the firework show, I never knew what the next firework was going to look like, which is what made it even more beautiful. I couldn’t look away.
The only thing I could anticipate was change.
I had zero expectations.
The only thing that I knew for certain was that the the show was going to end.
How is this different than how we experience life on a daily basis?
I wonder, if we thought of our lives more as firework shows, how easier it would be to navigate change. Uncertainty is an inherent part of our lives, and much like the fireworks, it adds a touch of mystery to our experiences. it’s clear why we fear it.
Keyword: Uncertainty. *sparkles*
If I knew that these moments wouldn’t last forever. Would I be quicker to say I love you.
Would I be quicker to make that phone call or try something new.
Would I be fearless, instead of just waiting for the next moment to feel starry eyed.
So unfair.
I re-lived memories, dissecting each piece with gratitude…just as I did watching the firework show. How many of these memories did I actually have control over?
There was always purpose in it.
That means something.
There’s no road map in this life, it’s just a bunch of crazy, complex, indescribable moments that make up a show.
People will say are you alive or just living…I ask myself that every single day.
